Return in Red (2007)

Director: Tyler Tharpe

Writer: Tyler Tharpe

Tagline: Scream all you want. No one will hear.

Actors: J.J. Huckin, Amy Paliganoff, Michael Ray Reed, Keelan Rushing, Linda McCormick, Becky Niccum, Michael G. Young, David Tess, Mary Atkins, Kate Black

Runtime: 1h 42m

Category: Psychological, Thriller

Synopsis: It has been documented by the government that prolonged exposure to high levels of electromagnetic concentration could cause mental instability in the human brain. But nobody really paid this information any mind. A small rural town becomes subject to a suspicious-looking van wandering about and emitting massive amounts of electromagnetic fields. Those who are targeted become disoriented and in extreme cases end up killing themselves…or others! After a final showdown at the local factory, the van disappears; and those who survived are left to pick up the pieces of their now shattered lives.

Review: This movie sucked balls. It could have been so, SO much better. I understand that Tharpe was going for the “conspiracy theory” paranoia factor…but come on! This movie follows a small town riddled with hicks who become a “government experiment”. The “government” has been “experimenting” with “electromagnetism” since the reign of Jimmy Carter. The reason I used so many quotes in that last sentence is because all of that information is implied…and not real…according to our government (or so they tell us, but when has government ever known what’s good for us?). Thus, a mysterious van drives around pointing a satellite at people and electromagnitizing (not a real word) them until they go completely nuts-o. That’s the whole story in a nutshell.

The acting was lame and…well…hickish. So, I guess the acting was good…good enough to convince me that this town is swarming with artards. Even the part I actually liked didn’t have that good of acting in it.

The effects were miniscule apart from the end factory scene. That whole scene could have been a short film and I would have loved it! That head impalement was so well done I think I head Tom Savini whimper. Apart from that…nothin’.

Rating: 8. I gotta give this flick some mad, dope, fat, whack, bomb, shit props for the wicked awesome head impalement and the chilling thought of, “Is our government actually doing crap like this?” Even though there was an impending sense of doom throughout the movie…it did not deliver on time…any time…or at all. This movie, apart from some select scenes and concepts, was just simply boring. All build-up and a climax that made no sense of the story. I cannot explain in words how disappointed I was with this movie. Horrible…just horrible. (8of25).