Halloween (2007)

Director: Rob Zombie

Writer: Rob Zombie, John Carpenter, Debra Hill

Tagline: Evil Has A Destiny

Actors: Malcolm McDowell, Brad Dourif, Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon, William Forsythe, Richard Lynch, Udo Kier, Clint Howard, Danny Trejo, Lew Temple, Tom Towles, Bill Moseley, Leslie Easterbrook

Runtime: 1h 49m

Category: Slasher

Synopsis: Ten year old Michael Myers gets bullied both at school and at home. At school on Halloween, Michael is pushed over the edge by a bully. After school Michael follows the bully into the woods and beats him to death with a tree branch. Once at home he is consumed by more of the same loving attention by his family; and when his older sister refuses to take him trick or treating after mom goes to work he slaps on a clown mask and brutally, and I mean brutally, kills his mom’s boyfriend, his older sister, and her boyfriend. The only one he leaves alive is his baby sister. Michael is sent to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium where he is under the care of Dr. Loomis. For the next seventeen years he is silent, making masks to hide his face, and on that fateful Halloween night he busts the hell out of Smith’s Grove and heads back home to finish what he started. Michael goes on a rampage of slaughter and carnage as he attempts to find his baby sister who is now a senior in high school. Being followed by the only person who feels he can be stopped, Dr. Loomis follows Michael back to Haddonfield, IL to stop him.

Review: WOW! Rob Zombie is one demented guy. He made that movie very dark and much more of a slasher flick than John Carpenter. Zombie took the very suburban town of Haddonfield, IL and dropped Myers’ white trash family right in the middle of it. You have mom (Stripper), mom’s boyfriend (Out-of-Work Alcoholic), older sister (Whore In Training), sister’s boyfriend (Guy who bangs the whore in training), and baby sister (Poop Machine) who make up this not-so-Brady Bunch family. The way Michael sets out and slaughters his family was a brilliant display of slasher genius. It was great to see the progression of this human being full of pure evil. There is actually a point where Michael is in the loony bin and is talking with his mother and Dr. Loomis when you realize how nuts he really is. He asks her if he can come home and she tries to explain why he can’t. Once she leaves he tells Dr. Loomis that he doesn’t remember killing anyone. Once Loomis explains it all to Michael he clams up and never speaks another word.

In my opinion Taylor Mane had the easiest acting job in this flick. He didn’t even have any lines. He just had to kill people…lucky guy. Somehow Michael steals a semi truck and drives back to Haddonfield (because I would totally figure a ten-year-old who has been locked up for seventeen years can drive a semi). He is somehow able to easily track down the couple who adopted his baby sister. Why not, he is a sociopath. That almost makes me want to be a sociopath. I said almost. The characters were great. I really liked how his family sucked and that is what put him over the edge. I liked seeing Loomis and Michael’s interaction until he breaks out. I loved what happened at the end but I won’t tell you that because it differs from the original a little and I don’t want to give you any more than I have to.

The character placement was exceptional and I found myself rooting for Michael at every turn. The movie was gritty like a 70’s exploitation movie, which, thanks to Quentin Tarantino, is making a come back. I think it will lose its gritty appeal when too many people start doing it. Boobs…there were some hot ones in this. The sister had nice ones, and the girl from Halloween 4 & 5 was poppin’ her boobs the whole second half of the movie. Yes she does have some nice ones, mmmmmm mmmmmm (that’s the sound Mr. Herbert makes from Family Guy). No one had droobs or draggers, they were all nice a perky and headlights on high beams. Now to my favorite part, the gore! It was unbelievable how real the scenes were. They were scripted beautifully and there was a perfect combination of blood, gore and hot nasty death.

Rating: 21. I would have given this a higher rating but I was a little turned off by the language used in the movie. It was like listening to my next door neighbors when they have a party. I felt a little dumber when it was over because of that. Also, you have to remember we are talking about a remake of one of the genre’s defining movies for trying to kill pure evil. It was worthy to stand on its own and it did answer some weird questions, like; where did Michael get the coveralls? Why does he wear a mask? And where in the blue hell did he get that mask? (21of25).