Fire Serpent (2007)

Director: John Terlesky

Writer: Garfield Reeves-Stevens, Judith Reeves-Stevens, William Shatner

Tagline: If you can't stand the heat, get off the planet.

Actors: Robert Beltran, Marco Bianco, Steve Boyle, Nicholas Brendon, Richard Clarkin, Patrice Goodman, Sandrine Holt, Diego Klattenhoff, Lisa Langlois

Runtime: 1h 29m

Category: Alien, Creature, Possession

Synopsis: An alien life form lands on Earth traveling from the Sun. It starts a gigantic forest fire in 1965. The girl who goes to put the fire out gets possessed, yes I said possessed, by the fire and starts breathing it all over, torching what is left of the forest. She then drops dead, fried from the inside out. Her boyfriend searches for the next 32 years to find out what this life form is and how to stop it. After a bizarre fire in present day, local fire fighters try to contain the last of the blaze when one of them is engulfed by the flames. His partner Jake (Nicholas Brendan), witnesses the event and thinks he is losing his mind. Later that night he meets Cooke, the guy who has been researching the fires for the last 3+ decades and is told that he knows what Jake saw, and that it is real. Together they go out to stop the Fire Serpent and along the way run into a government cover up that they also have to take down.

Review: This movie was everything I expected it to be. I giant load of made-for-TV crap. This movie was based on a story written by William Shatner. I never thought Capitan Kirk would create such a piece of “Shat” and then feed it to the world, but he did in the form of this Sci-Fi Channel original movie. And shame on the Sci-Fi Channel for actually putting this thing together. Don’t they look at the script anymore; I mean do they just throw a bunch of crap at the wall and whatever hits the ground last is the movie of the week they make? I have seen better acting in after school specials, or from people who are special. Remember Corky from the TV show Life Goes On? Way better actor than the douche bags they put in this thing.

The whole thing was bad. The acting was beyond sub-par and the effects were typical of made-for-TV movies. It wasn’t even funny. The story is soooooooo ridiculous and predictable that even the characters names are campy. The one dude is named Cooke for fuck’s sake. If that isn’t cliché then I give up.

Rating: 9. It’s still William ‘Freakin’ Shatner. You can’t stop him you can only hope to contain him. This movie actually made me mad and I almost kicked my dog after watching it because I lost 2 hours of my life that I could have been doing something productive. Ha Ha Ha Ha, right, productive, I most likely would have been watching another shitty B-rate movie anyway. (9of25).