Chainsaw Sally (2004)

Director: Jimmyo Burril

Writer: Jimmyo Burril

Tagline: Killing is in Her Blood!

Actors: April Monique Burril, Mark Redfield, Alec Joseph, David R. Calhoun, Kristen Hudson, Aaron Martinek, Brad Smoley, Jennifer Rouse, Lesley Vernot, Gunnar Hansen, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Suzi Lorraine, Shawn Jones, Melissa Griffith, Andy Wentsel

Runtime: 1h 23m

Category: Cannibal, Comedy, Slasher

Synopsis: Sally lives in a small town and is your average librarian by day. But by night she is a chainsaw wielding serial killer. After witnessing both her parents being murdered by three escaped lunatics, she develops a lust for being a vigilante; killing people she feels have done wrong. Now, with a wealthy land owner in town to sell a two-hundred acre parcel to a local developer, Sally is in fear of losing the shelter of her hideout. One by one she stalks and methodically kills each person to make sure her secret is not revealed.

Review: I thought this was a low budget winner. This movie had the gore, comedy, bizarre back story, bad acting and bad scenery that are needed for a successful B movie. Now, I know that when you do something low budget it looks less than spectacular but listen, when they first show Sally in the library it is the size of my office at work. You couldn’t fit ten bookshelves in this thing. It is quite possible that I have more books than this library. There are a few scenes that Sally is recreating the infamous The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) scene where Leather Face is swinging the chainsaw around like an idiot in the middle of the road and it kinda looks like a dance. This works in this film for two reasons: 1. she is a chainsaw wielding freak of a serial killer with stripped socks like she is the Wicked Witch of the West’s sister that the house fell on in the beginning of The Wizard of Oz (1939). 2. Gunnar Hansen (Leather Face in the original TCM) is her father in the movie. So I guess it is poetic justice that he makes it infamous and she is pushing cleavage out during it. I don’t know really what that has to do with anything but I have to say she had great rackage.

The first guy to get killed in this movie is something out of a SNL sketch. He was the stereotypical long haired hick asshole that when he died you had been rooting for it. Ok, so he gets killed for talking too loud in the library. It was so funny. Actually all of the death scenes were because of some absolutely ridiculous reason. Let’s just say you don’t want to keep a book past its due date in Sally’s town. I loved that it was all so “over the top” especially the acting. Sally’s little brother Rudy is a huge flamer. He is a transvestite who wears a pink boa around his neck. What are you, the gay son of the Hulkster? Actually, now that I think about it he kinda looks like Hulk Hogan’s kid if he was a little fatter and a lot gayer. Tone it down a little, its called “acting” not “take your giant pink flowery neck dick to work day”. Damn! What’s wrong with people? Keep your weird shit at home, locked up and far away from the rest of us. We don’t want to see that shit. Anyway, then there were the two cops. I would have felt safer if Barney Fife and an artard had been watching my back. These two dingleberrys had no business being cops. The best line in the movie is when the cops go into a room and see a bunch of chopped up dead bodies and the one cop says, “This guy is in trouble.” And the other cop responds with, “Trouble is being a couple of months late on your truck payment, this is the guy that would be sitting around jerkin off with a jar of Jiff peanut butter and a pot pie.” I thought I was going to die. I laughed so hard I had to pause the movie. There was another scene where Sally and the land owner Steve Kellerman are walking through town and having a conversation about how Batman is gay because he slides down a pole and wears tights. The only person that was really believable was the slutty assistant to the real estate developer. She was the kind of slut you take home and treat her like a farm animal; and that is what ends up happening to her. So it all works out in the end. No pun intended.

In closing, the character of Sally was actually just supposed to be a part of the website of director Jimmyo Burril’s website for another movie. She got so much attention that he and his wife April (Sally) decided to put it to life on film. Sally is what Jimmyo stated as modeled after his wife. She didn’t seem upset but rather geeked that she helped create the character.

Rating: I know that I am going to take shit for this but 17. I thought it was a really fun movie. I liked that the acting was more overdone than a Nicholas Cage project and that the plot was goofy like when Jim Carrey was actually funny. It was really cheesy but I liked it. I know that a lot of people won’t get it but if that is the case don’t freakin watch it then. Some of it was dry but sill worth the look. It is not so easy to find unless you have Blockbuster’s Total Access package. That thing is awesome. Check it out if you like an overflow of cheese on your nachos. Otherwise don’t eat nachos. (17of25).